Todays episode has been a tough decision for me record as its a very vulnerable share and involves another human being.
Ultimately as a coach I know my story and share will not only help my own healing but will also help others who have been in similar situations, so here it is.
Having done a lot of personal development and healing and faced tough decisions that have allowed me to grow, becoming a victim of domestic abuse at the ripe old age of 48 was not in my roadmap. Especially when the person that created the abuse was a friend and musical partner of 25 years.
Aside from the deep hurt, betrayal, depression. grief and sadness I felt, it highlighted to me the personal healing I still needed to do for myself. It was clear my self love and worth is still not where it needs to be. If it was I wouldn’t have put up with horrible behaviour and verbal abuse for so long.
It happened multiple times. I made excuses, I made allowances for the traumas he had suffered as a child and teenager. I had such a desire to be the person that could guide him to a place of more peace, that I overrode my own emotional needs to the detriment of his. I thought he wanted to heal, however it turns out he cannot or will not take responsibility for his actions and continues to play the victim and blame everyone else.
Putting others needs before my own is a pattern I run and was developed from a very young child when my own needs were not met. And we all have our own patterns. We all had times when our parents or care givers were not just not able to meet us energetically and emotionally. Its not their fault, they did the best they could with the knowledge and tools they had. I too would have not met my own sons needs when he was small, not on purpose, simply I did not know any better. Most humans do not know any better. We have never been taught and told the fundamentals of human beings really caring for each other and society constructs quite simply do not allow for it either.
If this episode helps just one person remove themselves from a negative or verbally abusive relationship then its worth recording and sharing.
If you want to know more about Mel Clarke, she is also a Life Purpose Coach & Reiki Healer helping people come out of chaos to live guilt free and find their purpose driven direction in life.
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